Vanilla sex refers to the traditional, conventional way of mating, dismissing all kinks, fetishes, props or extras.
Depending on the person, it may even be restricted to a couple traditional positions, such as missionary, but the “traditional” position varies from person to person and from culture to culture.
The expression utilizes the original ice cream flavor example for naming the “classic” or original way of sex as “vanilla” as the classic ice cream flavor was also vanilla.
In this light, “vanilla sex” may be called plain sex or conventional sex, dismissing all extras in favor of the classic experience of love making.
It is unclear, when exactly the phrase was coined.
Spread and Usage
In the era of hardcore internet porn and the availability of all sorts of BDSM contents, practices and services, vanilla sex is a phrase that gets more and more used, to differentiate between the subcategories of coitus.
While the number of people interested in kinks and fetishes is ever growing, there are still tons of people, devoted to the traditional form of bed gymnastics.
Urban Dictionary’s first entry on the subject was uploaded in 2003, with a bunch of other definitions describing “vanilla sex” having been written since then.
- Vice – When It Comes to ‘Vanilla Sex,’ No Two People Taste the Same Flavor
- Psychology Today – Overcoming the Anxiety of Vanilla Sex